Half a year

Half a year. 6 months. Whichever way you look at it, still seems like yesterday that I first held my baby. Time is flying by!

This time 6 months ago I was clock watching. Waiting for 8am so I could call and find out what time they wanted me. Excited but scared.

And I remember clearly the moment that I first met my precious bundle. They quickly placed this angry baby in my arms. She looked very cross with the world. And the midwife saying 'lets just make sure she is a she' and opening her legs, taking a peek and saying 'yep, she certainly is' and me thinking 'good job cause if she wasn't then the poor boy would spend 3 months in dresses ;)

Loved every moment of her first 6 months.

I can't wait...

Until Emily can go to 'frizzies' :)

I remember when the play cafe first opened. I would watch the little girls coming out of frizzies looking so pretty. I sat imagining how it would feel having someone to take there. Can't believe on day I will have!!

If you have never heard of them before, they are a kids hair dresser who use peach milk products and disposable towels to ensure everything is hygienic. They do princess curls and provide all kinds of grips, clips and slides. You can have a sparkle spray added to your curls to make them shine.

Okay. So Emily is almost bald. But I can fast forward a few years and dream can't I? :)

What to do?

I don't know.

Sam went into my wardrobe and proudly got out Hannah's puffalump dolly and gave it to Emily. He had a very big smile on his face. He had given 'baby' a present. And baby seemed quite happy to accept the soft and squishy doll. She grabbed hold of her and really didnt want to let her go.

I am now stood looking at the doll and don't know what to do. Part of me wants to wash her (she has got grubby and dusty over the 18and a half years that I have had her). She can be machine washed and tumble dried. And let Emily love her. She might end up being her fav dolly who she gets really attached to. And what else will happen to the doll? She will sit in my wardrobe forever. Never to know the love of a little girl.

Then part of me thinks this is wrong. There is a world full of dolls out there that Emily can have. This one belongs to a different little girl. She should remain untouched and unloved forever.

I just don't know.

Snooze and sleep :*]

We have all done it. Snoozed our alarm and grabbing an extra 5 mins in the morning. I some days snooze it a few times, just like this morning. Then at 6.15 I switched it off thinking I better get up. BIG MISTAKE! I usually switch off once I am up and about. So I ended up getting another 25 mins...

But I am glad I did. During my extra sleep time I had a dream. And at the end of the dream I found myself in Nans house. She was sitting in her chair like she always did. And I wrapped my arms around her and held her so tight. I said 'it feels like forever since I last saw you' as she cried onto my shoulder. I let her go and gave her a kiss and said 'I won't leave it so long again. Where shall we go next week? Sainsbury's or Morrisons?' A voice in the room said 'she really doesn't care where you go as long as she can see you'. She never spoke herself at all.

And then I woke up.

And for a couple of seconds I forgot. I walked out the bedroom thinking 'I haven't been to see her for ages. I really need to start going more like I used to' and then I remembered :(

But it felt so lovely to hold her again. Well worth the crazy rush that followed.